I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
