I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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