hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
