Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Are we still banned from the library?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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