Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize