My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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