Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
