i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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