my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize