Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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