Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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