I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
