sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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