I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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