Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
