Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
