well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
