I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
