he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
