Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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