do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
