Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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