I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My life is pants optional.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
