Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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