the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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