Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
this will be a night to untag.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
