There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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