He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
