Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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