I just pynch a tree in the face
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
