we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
