i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Randomize
