Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize