I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
