Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
