How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
