dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You brought string cheese to the strip club
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize