So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize