Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She's the barista slut.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
