Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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