i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Randomize
