i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I should be sponsored by Trojan
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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