He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
