using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
