Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
