he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize