just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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