I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
