I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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