we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
