I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she peed on how many people?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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