thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
