everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize