Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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