Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
