dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
