I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
