don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
