well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize