she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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