i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
