Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Welp...herpes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
