remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
