That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
