ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
