Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
