I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
