This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
