woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
