Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dick very happy bro
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize