K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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