After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
