it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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