maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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