bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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