do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
