ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I could fuck to npr.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
