In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize