we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
