Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize